{Pregger Update: 20 Weeks}

I thought I’d start doing these updates here and there. Hopefully you guys don’t find them annoying, but I think it would be nice for me to have to look back on someday ☺ 

How Far Along: I’ll be 21 weeks Thursday!

Size of Baby: She’s the size of a banana – about 7 inches long and weighs about 12 oz.

Maternity Clothes: Definitely. Went on a Gap Maternity shopping spree a couple weeks back when they were having a 40% off sale and I have to say that maternity clothes just fit SO much better and are so much more flattering! 

Stretch Marks: None yet.  Crossing my fingers SO hard they decide to skip me ☺ Slathering on Clarins Tonic Body Treatment Oil and Burt Bee’s Mama Bee Belly Butter like it’s my job!

  

Sleep: Well, I love sleeping. I go to bed really early every night and I don’t even feel bad about it. I figure once this babe is born it will be a while before I get a full night’s rest so might as well take advantage now!

Best Moment of the Week:  Feeling her move around ALL THE TIME. It’s my favorite! And when she doesn’t for a while I miss her. 

 Movement:  Uh huh! Even Corey can feel her move around. We love to lay in bed or on the couch and wait for her to kick/punch. It’s so fun! Apparently this is really early on for both me and him to be feeling her move so much, but I guess she’s just in a really great position because I’ve been feeling her a lot for almost 2 weeks now!

Cravings: None really recently! 

Gender: Little Lady!

Belly Button In or Out: In

Wedding Ring on or Off: On

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: I feel pretty good, but if I don’t eat for a few hours I feel a little queasy. But nothing compared to the first tri!

What I Miss: IPAs. And bourbon. I’m not a lush I swear!

What I am Looking Forward to: Our babymoon to Hawaii coming up in about a month! I need some sun – this Portland weather is downright depressing!

Labor Signs: Heck no. Thank goodness!!

Nursery: We have our crib, but that’s about it! Gotta start somewhere!

Emotions:  Last week was pretty rough – my emotions were all over the place, but mainly really low. The last few days have been a bit better. It’s so hard to know how incredibly happy I am yet sometimes I just can’t fight this feeling of sadness. I suffered from depression about 10 years ago, so I recognize these feelings and I know how to deal with them, it’s just a bummer they are showing up during this special time. But I’m hanging in there!

{Es Trenc Beach: Mallorca}

As our fall/winter weather is in full swing here in Portland, I couldn't help but long for our wonderful day spent at Es Trenc beach in Mallorca back in May. The water at Es Trenc is the clearest I've ever seen - what I imagine the Caribbean looks like (I've never been). I found myself in total awe for the few hours we were there. If you find yourself in Mallorca, this is one of the best beaches on the island and a can't-miss!

All photos are unedited - that is really the color of the water!

{Photo © Liz Denfeld Photography}

{On Amsterdam.}

The time has come. I knew it would, and I’m actually surprised it took this long… I miss Amsterdam... Real bad. This week it has hit me like a ton of bricks and I must admit tears may have been shed. It’s not that I don’t absolutely love our life here in Portland, but truth be told I think I’m finally just now coming to terms with the huge changes that have happened in our lives the last 5 months. It all happened so fast it felt like we were just riding the wave of excitement. The dust is settling now and I’m looking around and realizing how much has changed. And it’s taking me a second to gather my thoughts and feelings and emotions on how I feel about it all. 

I mean, obviously I’m happy. I’m overjoyed to be home in Portland, thrilled to be in the same city with (most of) our families, and I’m ecstatic to be expecting our first baby (p.s. it’s a girl!). But part of me is mourning the loss of life in Europe. Of everything from being in this little bubble of life with Corey – just me and him figuring out a new continent with no friends or family – to hopping on planes and trains and traveling to some of my most favorite places in the world. I miss little things like fresh squeezed orange juice in every shop and market, I miss big things like the sheer gorgeousness of Amsterdam – where every corner you turn around is more picturesque and truly breathtaking than the last. I miss our apartment and I miss Christmas time in Europe. I miss walking and biking everywhere (yes, even in the cold!). I miss Sunday brunch at Le Pain Quotidien. I miss the great friends we made (and not knowing when I’ll see each of them again is heartbreaking). I’m a nostalgic person in general, and I tend to romanticize the past and long for the future. It’s something I’m very aware of – and even when I would sob for Portland while I sat in our living room in Amsterdam I KNEW that the second we returned here I would be sobbing for Amsterdam. And here I am. Doing just that. 

The most comforting thing that comes to mind is this… Well, there are two things. One, we can always go back. And we will. Our dream is to return when our children (God willing) are school age so they can live and breathe the incredible culture in Europe. But more importantly, this saying: Don’t be sad it’s over, be glad it happened. I’m trying to change my perspective and instead of mourning the fact that we’re not there anymore and we are moving on with our lives in so many ways –celebrate the fact that we were so incredibly lucky to have had this opportunity to live abroad, grow so close, learn so much and make some of the most amazing memories of our lives. 

You'll always have a piece of our hearts, Amsterdam...

{Photo © Liz Denfeld Photography}

{Finding Out...In Dutch!}

Here's the story of how we found out we were going to be parents... In Dutch ;)

Corey and I had talked about adding to our family for years. We were definitely excited to do so someday, but knew we didn't want to embark on this journey while we were living abroad - both because we didn't want to be so far from family when we did, but also because we wanted to spend our two years in Amsterdam really soaking up this adventure just us two. Needless to say, by the time we touched down in Portland at the end of June, we had one thing on our minds (okay, maybe more than one, but this was the biggest!): Starting a family!

I won't go into the details, but come the end of July we knew that it was a possibility we could be pregnant. We also knew that you really shouldn't take a pregnancy test until you actually have a reason to believe you might have a bebe in the belly (i.e. you missed your period - sorry, TMI!). So even though we were down in LA with my sisters and my mom and we knew we could be pregnant and it would be so awesome to share the news with them in person, I didn't want to jump the gun only to be disappointed. Plus, I didn't feel pregnant, and this was our first real go at this, so I felt like it would be a long shot. So yeah, long story short, we flew home Sunday evening (not so) patiently waiting for aunt flow to arrive on Monday. 

Come Monday morning, still no signs of AF, and still no indication that I was preggers, but being the impatient person I am, and knowing that technically that should be the first day I could take a test, it was the first thing I thought of when I shot out of bed that morning. I felt really silly, and like such an amateur (only first timers would be so eager to break out the pregnancy test at 6AM, right?!), so I didn't want to tell Corey I was going to take a test. I had randomly bought a box of tests in Amsterdam that of course were never opened, just sitting in my suitcase, so I figured I'd just use one of those and nobody would have to know. I waited for Corey to hop in the shower and I quickly opened the box and tried to read the instructions. Gah! They're in Dutch (and French and Italian and every other language but English... oh how I do not miss those days!), of course! So I figure, well this can't be that hard, it's a digital test so there aren't too many options. Here goes nothing... 

Less than five minutes later, Corey still soaping up in the shower, I read the word "zwanger" on the digital screen. My heart started pounding. Now, I don't speak Dutch but I'm pretty sure "zwanger" means pregnant. And I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't pregnant that hugely important Dutch word would be preceded by "niet", as in "not"... "not pregnant". Holy crap! I think I'm pregnant!!!!!

I then did what any logical person would do. I knocked on the shower door. 

My poor confused husband! He had no idea what was coming. He opened the door, totally unaware that I was just about to share the biggest news of our lives with him. I held up a shaky hand (according to him - I hardly remember this!) and he squints and reads the stick. 

"What does that mean?!"

"I don't know! I think it means I'm pregnant!"

"Google translate, google translate!" he shouts, his hair filled with shampoo suds. 

I scurry over to my phone and quickly do an all too familiar google translation for the word "zwanger".

Answer: PREGNANT

Back to the shower... Phone in hand. Showing off the direct translation to Corey...And there it is. Pregnant. We're pregnant! We're having a baby!

An ordinary Monday turned absolutely extraordinary. Let's just say I didn't get much work done that day. While everyone went about their days, some with the Monday blues, I couldn't keep a smirk off my face knowing my life just changed forever.

{We're Having a Baby!!!}

So....

{It says "We're Pregnant!!! - Too bad the flash blew out the handwriting!}

Yippee!!!! Oh my goodness, I can't even tell you how happy and excited I am that I finally get to shout our news from the rooftops! We've known for over two months now that little baby Denfeld is on the way, so it is such a relief to finally get to share the news with the world :)

I'm 14 weeks along and am just now finally starting to feel better. The first trimester was pretty miserable (aside from the first two weeks where I felt nothing and was convinced I couldn't actually be pregnant!). But all-in-all, I know it could've been much worse, so even though I was nauseous 24/7 for 6 weeks straight, I wasn't in the hospital and I only threw up, like, 10 times or something. So I'll consider that a win!

So that should cover the "How are you feeling?" question, and as far as the second question we always get - will we find out the gender. The answer is h-e-l-l yes! We can't find out soon enough! We should know by the end of this month, so stay tuned. And no, I have no "mothers intuition" of whether it's a boy or girl... I seriously have NO idea! I wish I did! So we'll all just have to wait and see :)

More to come... For now I'll leave you with my sorry excuse for a bump photo. I vividly remember when Ashlee was pregnant she would say how her baby bump would be so much bigger after eating a burrito, and I couldn't believe that could be true. Could food really make the baby belly come out? And now I can tell you with great confidence.. YES it does. This was the day after I enjoyed a huge Italian dinner, hence my more curvy state. When I woke up the next morning it was almost like it never happened. Boo! I'm excited for this little one to make more of an appearance in the next few weeks!

{First photo by Laura Nelson Photography - can't wait to share more of our shoot with her! She is ah-may-zing!}

{Kynsa Elephant Park}

Let's talk about elephants. Prior to our trip to South Africa I really didn't know much about them, but after a trip to the Knysna Elephant park I learned a lot about these gorgeous creatures. They're extremely smart and have the self-awareness and cognition similar to what we've seen in apes and dolphins. They are quick learners and will glady show off some tricks for a piece of fruit. They love attention and cuddles. Really, they're friendly giants. Within their packs they truly care for one another, and if something happens to an elephant in the pack, their loss is visibly mourned. I truly fell in love with them the more I learned about them. They are so fascinating and sweet! 

After our stay in Franschhoek we ventured along the Garden Route. One of the cities we stopped in was Knysna. We had read about the Knysna Elephant Park in our guide book and knew we definitely wanted to check it out and get the opportunity to pet and feed the elephants! The Elephant Park is actually an orphanage for elephants in need - who have either been abandoned, fallen ill, etc. My favorite part about the park is that they practice a "free-range controlled system of management" - which basically means the elephants range freely and they only interact with guests on their terms. We definitely saw this as they were not herded over to us by any means. We simple drove up into the park and waited to see what would happen. Luckily, they know we come with food, so they love to come get treats and get attention from the visitors! It was one of my most favorite travel experiences to date to interact so closely with these beautiful animals! I'd highly recommend it if you're ever in South Africa.

{Photos © Liz Denfeld Photography}

{April in Paris}

Well hello there blog land. Per usual I popped in quickly and then didn't make a return anytime soon. Oops! I always have the best of intentions to give this space attention, but somehow it always gets pushed to the bottom of the neverending to-do list. If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you already know that we bought a house (more on that later)! And that's what's been taking up all of our time on evenings and weekends. We've also taken a few fun trips to Los Angeles (to meet my adorable new nephew) and to Vancouver, B.C. (you know, because we were really missing using our passports!). I have so many photos from the past months and even year to share and I fully plan on getting them up here!

I'll start by looking back on an amazing trip I took to Paris back in April. I got a call from one of my best friends at the beginning of the month telling me she will most likely be coming out to Amsterdam and Paris for work (we work at the same company, score!) and would I be interested in joining her in Paris? I mean, you just don't say no to that! So even though we had just gotten back from South Africa and had many more trips planned that spring, I booked a train ticket to Paris for a weekend away with one of my dearest friends. We had an absolutely incredible time touring the city, eating delicious food and catching up after being oceans apart for far too long. These are memories I will cherish forever and ever.

A few highlights from our trip:

-Hot chocolate at Angelina -- how did it take me four visits to Paris before I made it here? You can't miss it if you're planning a trip!

-Brunch at Cafe de Flore - a Parisian institution. Amazing people watching!

-Dinner at Le Coupe Chou (not pictured, but trust me it's incredible!)

-And of course, pink champage and sweet treats at Laduree - as girly as it gets!

{Photos © Liz Denfeld Photography}